


Ass over Teakettle

by cryforwhat



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Cheeky Bastards, Christmas Fluff, Dead Corny, Lots of bad puns, M/M, Shamelessly pimping all my cherik feelings, crack! fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-03 06:08:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2840864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryforwhat/pseuds/cryforwhat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The title explains all. Check it out, seriously.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ass over Teakettle

Title: Ass over Teakettle  
Author: cryforwhat  
Paring: Brian/Justin  
Time: Post-513  
Rate: R  
Summary: The title explains all. Check it out, seriously.  
Originally posted at [WADSBB](http://www.wadsbb.com/viewthread.php?tid=4197&pid=168827&page=1&extra=page%3D1#pid168827).  
那啥，这文就不要来跟我申请授权翻译了……乐趣全在蠢萌老土的英文双关啊。  
  
"I feel so full!"  
  
"Just because that Christmas house is made of gingerbread and candies, doesn't necessarily mean you have to eat it all, Gretel."  
  
"I know that by now."  
  
"We're out of coffee, so I'm going to put the kettle on and make some tea for you."  
  
"Thank you. I promise I will not push you into the stove while you are checking the fire."  
  
"I thought I was Hansel."  
  
"Who seduced an innocent sweet teenager into this house again?"  
  
"Hello, pot. This is kettle. If you hadn't seduced me with that creamy ass, I would've never taken you back."  
  
"No kidding."  
  
***  
  
"By the way, where's the tea? I can't find it anywhere."  
  
"You know, I always find it hilarious that you can't find things in your own kitchen with those elvish long limbs. It's a good thing you've got me."  
  
"Either tell me where it is or get your ass here and find it yourself."  
  
"Okay, I'm coming..."  
  
"Not yet."  
  
"Ouch!"  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"You know, I always find it hilarious that you fall on your ass easily with such Hobbit-ish short legs. It's a good thing you've got that bubble butt."  
  
"Now you're just adding insult to injury, literally."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Uh... I seem to... I can't feel my legs."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I can't feel my legs."  
  
"Are you kidding me?"  
  
"I'm sorry, my love, but I'm not."  
  
"Let me see. Do you have feeling here?"  
  
"This is my ass."  
  
"Because that's my top priority. Can you feel anything?"  
  
"Ouch! Do you have to pinch that hard?"  
  
"Looks like your ass is okay."  
  
"I'm paralyzed and all you care about is whether my ass is still intact?  
  
"Now that's debatable."  
  
"What if I can't get up anymore?"  
  
"Then, can you get IT up?"  
  
"I'm paralyzed and all you care about is touching my ass and my dick?"  
  
"Looks like your dick is more than welcome to my touch... Ouch! Do you have to kick that hard?"  
  
"Looks like my legs are okay now."  
  
"Really? I'd better check them thoroughly."  
  
"How thoroughly?"  
  
"Head over heels."  
  
"You mean putting my heels over my head."  
  
"Just the way I like it."  
  
"Fuck yeah."  
  
***  
  
"I feel so full!"  
  
"Now that's an exclamation I like during sex instead of after overeating."  
  
"Shhh. Can you hear anything?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"The teakettle is singing!"  
  
"Mmmm."  
  
"The water is boiling!"  
  
"I know. Should I be concerned that you worry more about the boiling water than my dick boring your ass? Pun intended."  
  
"No, but I'm afraid we have to turn the stove off."  
  
"Should have used an electric kettle. All right, up we go."  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"Put your legs around my waist, hold them tight."  
  
"Are you trying to fuck me upright? What a challenge!"  
  
"I'm trying to fuck you while walking all the way to the teakettle, now that's a challenge!"  
  
"You love my ass so much that you'd rather carry it over to the teakettle?"  
  
"Of course, and I love you, ass over teakettle."  
  
"You'd better do."  
  
"You bet your ass."  
  
  
FIN


End file.
